i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
