he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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