Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
false alarm. still invincible.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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