So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize