No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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