How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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