I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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