and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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