Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
