Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
