life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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