I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
