Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ugly people sure do ruin things
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
