In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
