Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
