where am i from again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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