My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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