Already got asked if we're dating
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?