I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
