fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
