Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
