Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
