Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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