I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
