Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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