Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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