Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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