She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
worst night to have a conscience
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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