that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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