Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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