we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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