He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
