Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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