theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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