Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
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