this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
