I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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