I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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