i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
