WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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