Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I cut my penus on the lid.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
