a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize