I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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