I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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