i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me