Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
