it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
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Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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