Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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  (703): How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time. http://tfl.nu/qie0
  Replies (2) Good night (1562) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school

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  (304): they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school http://tfl.nu/joeo
  Replies (19) Good night (4246) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

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  (913): The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them. http://tfl.nu/9puy
  Replies (22) Good night (8462) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties

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  (561): just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties http://tfl.nu/aad8
  Replies (16) Good night (7359) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.

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  (262): At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex. http://tfl.nu/iosj
  Replies (26) Good night (5579) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend

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  (708): I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend http://tfl.nu/sqgg
  Replies (6) Good night (2410) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.

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  (727): Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen. http://tfl.nu/2lhp
  Replies (6) Good night (2149) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.

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  (310): Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting. http://tfl.nu/us8p
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  This is true but you can't really get fired from college

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  (618): College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one. (1-618): This is true but you can't really get fired from college http://tfl.nu/z0cp
  Replies (3) Good night (1448) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober

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  (606): Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober http://tfl.nu/4i83
  Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis

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  (780): My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace. (780): I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD. (403): I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis http://tfl.nu/glgp
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.

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  (618): I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat. http://tfl.nu/8lem
  Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.

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  (724): I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well. http://tfl.nu/t3i8
  Replies (0) Good night (485) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  "I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"

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  (406): "I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad" http://tfl.nu/uel0
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.

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  (423): He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed. http://tfl.nu/exh7
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (233)

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