If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.