If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
