you guys were way drunker than both of me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize