You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
