so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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