So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
