brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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