Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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