The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
