Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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