Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
