do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Everyone says I win the strip club
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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