I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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