i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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