my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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