I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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