I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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