he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
