Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
