eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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