Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize